THE THIRD ENERGY

A dynamic exists when we join together with another person. When two of us come together, three main energies exist. Each energy requires respect. The first energy is person A. The second energy is person B. The third energy is C, the combining of person A with person B. Similar to a chemical reaction, when two of us relate, a third energy, C, is born. This third energy, C, represents the relationship.

Each relationship has its own integrity. Chocolate milk, for example, is the product, the third energy (C), from combining chocolate (A) and milk (B). Both chocolate and milk have their own integrity, as does chocolate milk. These three entities—chocolate, milk, and chocolate milk—each possess uniqueness.

We support the integrity of a relationship by respecting the third energy. Without considering “C” as a separate, unique entity, we degrade the care we give to a relationship. If two of us in a relationship simply care for ourselves, the third energy, C, usually suffers symptoms of neglect. Being mindful of the third energy has us taking better care of the relationship.

A working relationship has the third energy getting proper attention. Relationships standing the test of time are not necessarily working. A relationship of convenience and void of respect may have duration. To be a working relationship, however, high quality care must be obvious. Being mindful of the third energy supports us in having a truly working relationship.

An example of being respectful toward the third energy (the relationship) is considering what the relationship needs for it to thrive. This is completely different than asking what you or your partner may need to thrive in your relationship. When individuals thrive, their relationship does receive benefit. However, it is not the same as assessing and addressing the relationship's needs from the perspective of the relationship itself, the third energy.